


The Edge of the Ground

by Cait_Sidhe



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depressed Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cait_Sidhe/pseuds/Cait_Sidhe
Summary: "Things like stones and leaves must fall off of here. Where do they go? Do you think there’s ground down there? If not, will it fall forever?”"Honestly, I never really thought about it. Maybe it goes into the Lanes Between?"“Hmm. What about humans, then?”Riku finds Sora sitting on the edge of the Mysterious Tower's floating island. Riku convinces Sora to actually talk about his feelings for once, and discovers Sora's insecurities run deeper and his thoughts are darker than anyone had realized.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 137





	The Edge of the Ground

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T because of the heavy subject matter, even though it doesn't technically have anything that would usually make something T.
> 
> Has anyone else ever wondered how all those floating places without visible ground below work? I want explanations.

Riku lay on his back in his twin bed and stared at the stone ceiling of his and Sora’s shared room in the Mysterious Tower, thinking about the last couple weeks. First, he’d taken a test to become a Keyblade Master and somehow had succeeded in gaining the title. Riku shook his head in wonder. Just a few months ago, he never could have fathomed even having his own keyblade, yet alone be considered a Master. Yet now he was. And in a cruel twist of fate, to get that title Riku had had to rescue Sora from being consumed by darkness after being manipulated by yet another version of Xehanort. The situation mirrored that to the one Sora had saved Riku from more than a year ago. As a result, Sora had lost most of his strength and failed the test… Wait. Come to think of it, didn’t darkness need to prey on negative emotions to take a hold? And Sora had been sent into the deepest abyss… what feelings could Xehanort have preyed upon and manipulated to do such? Riku knew Sora had insecurities he tried to hide, but Riku had never expected them to be bad enough that such a deep darkness could develop...

Riku frowned. He hadn’t been able to speak to Sora much before they went on their respective missions to the Realm of Darkness and Olympus, Riku to help look for a lost Keyblade Master and Sora to see if Hercules had tips for regaining his strength, although the former had been fruitless and the latter turned into resolving some sort of coup, after which the only thing Yen Sid had said to Sora was that it was unfortunate that he couldn’t regain his strength. Did saving a world from a dark god, rescuing people from fires, and defeating titans not count for anything? Riku was certainly proud of Sora for doing such. But Yen Sid gave no acknowledgement, had no kind words for Sora—instead, Riku had watched Sora wilt under the weight of Yen Sid’s disappointment. Again. Riku was pretty pissed about that actually.

Speaking of Sora, where was he? He’d said he needed some fresh air, to clear his head, but he should have been back by now. Riku stood up, deciding to look for his friend; it was getting late, and Sora had a tendency to fall asleep in random places. 

Riku put his shoes on and began the long trek from his room down to the base of the Tower. Correction: short trek. The Tower enjoyed playing games with the stair length—although it never had been quite this short before. Riku had a slight feeling of unease about that as he exited the doors of the Tower.

Riku looked around, seeing if he could spot Sora; the land around the Mysterious Tower was a relatively small area after all, basically a big flattened rock topped with the building. At first Riku didn’t see the brunette, and started to wonder if he’d taken the tram to Twilight Town, but as he began to walk there Riku noticed Sora had simply been blocked from view by a tree. The brunette sat on the edge of the floating ground, looking down into the abyss with his feet dangling. Riku sighed. Why did both Sora and his Nobody like sitting precariously on high places?

“Hey, what’s up?” Riku asked as he approached.

Sora gave a start and turned, staring at Riku with a slightly panicked expression before changing it into a big smile. “Riku! What are you doing here?”

Riku frowned at the reaction. “I was getting worried,” he admitted as he took a seat next to Sora. “You were gone a while.”

“Oh.” Sora looked out into the distance. “Just thinking, is all. Didn’t mean to be here so long.”

“I see. Thinking of anything in particular?”

“Hmmm. Nothing important… hey, Riku, what do you think happens if something falls off of here?”

Riku froze. Sora didn’t mean… no, it must just be Sora being curious, a random thought. Still… “What do you mean?”

“Well, things like stones and leaves must fall off of here. Where do they go? Do you think there’s ground down there? If not, will it fall forever?”

“Honestly, I never really thought about it,” Riku admitted, relieved that Sora was only talking about inanimate things. “Maybe it goes into the Lanes Between?”

“Hmm. What about humans, then?”

Riku’s heart skipped a beat and he stared at Sora, eyes wide. _“What?”_

Sora looked down into the sky-abyss, kicking his legs absentmindedly. “Well, yeah. When I was in Olympus, I fell off a cliff, but my air magic saved me. It does that automatically, whether I want it to or not. But there’s no ground here, at least not that we can see. So how does that work? Would the magic still stop me, or—” Sora squeaked as Riku threw his arms around him and pulled him close. “Hey!”

Riku clutched Sora tightly, heart racing. Did Sora really just ask that? Was he thinking of trying such? And did he just say he fell off a cliff?! That was accidental, right?

“What gives, Riku?” Sora complained, wriggling around to get out of Riku’s hold.

Riku slid them backwards so they were a sufficient enough distance away from the edge of the ground to avoid falling off it—or intentionally jumping. Had Sora really been thinking of that, or was Riku misunderstanding his words and overreacting? Riku prayed it was the latter.

“Riku!” Sora said louder, struggling more, only for Riku to hold him tighter. “Come on, let go!”

Riku shook his head. “No. You’re not going to find out if the magic will stop you. I won’t let you.”

Sora stopped struggling and was quiet for a moment. “Wait, you thought I’d…” he laughed nervously. “Riku, don’t be silly, I wouldn’t do that!”

Riku frowned. Something was off about that reaction. “You wouldn’t?”

“Of course not! I was just wondering what would happen. I wouldn’t actually jump.”

“But you were thinking about it?” Riku whispered.

“Why would I—” Sora cut himself off and slumped down upon seeing the serious expression on Riku’s face. “Okay, fine. Maybe a little.”

Riku tugged Sora even closer to him. “Why, Sora? Why would you ever think something like that?”

Sora looked away from Riku and stayed quiet. Riku waited for the answer, but although he opened and closed his mouth a few times, Sora seemed unable to talk.

“Hey, let’s go back to our room,” Riku suggested, standing up and tugging Sora with him. Sora complied without complaint, allowing Riku to lead him by the hand.

Riku led the uncharacteristically silent Sora back to their room, maintaining the hand-hold the entire time. Just like when he’d left earlier, the stairs between the door and their room were unusually short, as though the Tower knew the situation and wanted to help. Riku guided Sora into their room and onto the bed to sit. Riku leaned against the wall it was pressed up against, and Sora scooted onto Riku’s lap and curled up, head against Riku’s chest and arms around his middle, cuddling just like he’d do when they were kids and Sora felt bad.

Riku automatically wrapped his arms around Sora too, and began rubbing small circles into his back. “Hey, talk to me, Sora. What’s going on?”

Sora opened his mouth as if to speak, but then looked around with a confused expression, seemingly unable to properly articulate his thoughts.

Riku bent his head down and nuzzled Sora’s hair with his nose. He blushed slightly at the intimacy of it; they hadn’t done this since they were kids, and it had nowhere near the same connotations then as it did now that they were older, at least to Riku. Riku metally shook the thought away; it wasn’t time for that discussion.

Finally, Sora answered. “I just feel… well… I guess, everything I do isn’t good enough,” he said quietly. “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Riku prodded.

“Well… I just keep screwing everything up. Even when I think I’ve done something good, no one really cares. They just mention the things I didn’t do or things I messed up. You heard Yen Sid. I went to Olympus, did all that stuff, but couldn’t do the one thing that mattered. How does he even know I can get that stupid power, anyway? What if I can’t?” He looked up at Riku, eyes questioning.

Riku reached up and tucked a stray hair behind Sora’s ear. “Hey. You’re strong, Sora. If anyone can do it, I know you can.”

“But what if I can’t?”

Riku shrugged. “Then it is what it is. You have plenty of other awesome abilities; if Yen Sid can’t accept that, he can go screw himself.”

Sora chuckled slightly, then looked down again and sighed. “But he’s not the only one depending on me to get it. There’s those lost keybladers or whatever they’re called. I’m the only one who can wake the one, right? So if I don’t get the power…” Sora trailed off.

Riku bit his lip, thinking of a response. He had to tread carefully here. Sora was right: he was the only one who could do it—or so they’d been told. Come to think of it, that was strange. There must be others out there who could obtain the power; why did it have to be Sora specifically? And even if there weren’t others, there was no way that was the only possible solution to waking people, was it? Ienzo had that whole heart lab, after all, so maybe he could find a solution. “Then we’ll find another way,” Riku said adamantly.

“But what if there isn’t one?”

Riku sighed. “Sora…”

Sora sighed too and curled up further. “Sorry.”

Riku looked down at Sora, slightly confused. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I’m being difficult. And talking about this is probably bringing you down too.”

Riku shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll always be here for you, Sora. You know that. So come on, talk to me. Something tells me that’s not all that this is about, is it?” The Power-of-Waking thing came after the Mark of Mastery exam, so Sora must have been feeling low before then, too. How had Riku not seen it sooner?

Sora shifted slightly in Riku’s lap. “I don’t know. I just feel really really really bad.”

“Bad how?” Riku prodded.

“Like, I dunno. I’m just really… sad, I guess? But, like, super sad. And for a while now.”

Riku processed that. So his suspicions had been correct; it hadn’t just recently started. “Do you know what made you start feeling that way?”

Sora shifted slightly. “Umm. Not sure? Kinda. I dunno.”

Riku paused, knowing he would be treading dangerous waters with the next question. “Is it related to something that happened during the exam?”

Sora stiffened slightly, then slumped in on himself even more, face more on Riku’s stomach instead of chest now. “Maybe… he did say some things to me…”

“Sora,” Riku said firmly. “Listen. I’m much more familiar with Xehanort’s tactics than the others. I know how he can pick up on small underlying emotions and weave darkness into them, making them bigger than they were. Thoughts that are hidden away, small darknesses. Little things that maybe were at the back of your mind, or you were pushing away—”

“But they weren’t,” Sora said quickly.

“Huh?”

“They weren’t hidden. They weren’t small. They were already there. He just made me think about them more than usual.”

“Okay,” Riku said, becoming even more concerned, if that were possible. How long had Sora been hurting whilst everyone was unaware? “Well, let’s talk about them, then,” Riku suggested.

Sora squeezed Riku tighter, but didn’t say anything.

“Sora?” Riku prodded.

After another small silence, Sora spoke. “The keyblade didn’t choose me,” he said quietly. “It should have been yours. I took it from you.”

Riku blinked in surprise. Of all things, he hadn’t expected Sora to say that. He shook his head. “That’s not true, Sora. It did choose you.”

“No, I was just conveniently there. It was supposed to be yours; I’m just the convenient back-up. Not actually worthy of it.”

“Yes, you are worthy of it, Sora.” Riku worded things carefully. “Maybe at first it was... borrowed, but then it went back to you, remember? And didn’t leave again. I got a new one, while you kept that one. Your keyblade chose to stay with you over me. It’s yours. You are worthy of it.”

“I guess that’s true…”

“No guessing. It is true.”

“If you say so.”

Riku frowned. “Sora…” Riku moved his hand to Sora’s hair, stroking it, and Sora let out a small sigh. “Hey. There’s more, isn’t there?” Riku ventured.

“...Yeah.”

“Tell me everything, Sora. Talking about it helps—trust me on that.”

Sora shifted, turning to bury his face in Riku’s chest again; he was shaking now.

“It’s okay if you want to cry,” Riku said.

Sora shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Sora, it’s okay. It’s just us here.”

Sora looked up to meet Riku’s eyes. Surprisingly, there actually were no tears built up in the saddened eyes despite the obvious pain in Sora’s voice and his body language. “I’m out of tears,” Sora said miserably. “I want to cry, I really do, but I can’t… I think I’m just too sad to cry. Can you feel too sad to cry? I feel empty, like my happiness was carved out of me. I feel numb, Riku.”

Riku hugged Sora closer to himself. “Is that why outside, you wanted to…” Riku couldn’t finish.

Sora knew what Riku meant. He turned away again as he said, “I wouldn’t actually do it. I couldn’t hurt you and Kairi like that.”

Riku felt his heart drop at the words. Him and Kairi. Did that mean that if they weren’t a factor, Sora would have done it? That if he started to doubt their friendship for some reason, Sora would do it? Maybe he should remind Sora that there were a lot more people who cared too. “What about the others? They would all be sad too. Donald, Goofy, Lea, Mickey, everyone you’ve met on your journeys...”

Sora shrugged. “They’d get over it. And be happier, too. You’d all be better off.”

“SORA!” Riku said loudly, his heart skipping two beats this time. “You can’t possibly believe that!” He turned Sora to look him in the eyes, only for them to show him that yes, Sora actually did believe that.

Sora gave Riku a wry smile. “Come on, you know it’s true. None of them would really miss me.”

“Of course they would! What happened to the thing you say? The bonds of friendship give you power, right? If they didn’t care, those bonds wouldn’t be there.”

“Yeah, that’s just it!” Sora raised his voice; Riku cringed, but he supposed anger was better than the numbness Sora mentioned before. “My friends are my power! Without them, I’m nothing. First time I fought on my own, I fell right into darkness.” Sora turned a glare towards Riku, tears finally forming at the corners of his eyes. “That’s why you’d all be better off! All I do is hold you back! You give me power, and what do I give in return? Nothing! I drag you all down! Alone, I’m worthless!”

Riku was momentarily speechless. Well, there was the root of the problem. When Sora said his friends were his power, he’d meant it literally, and everyone had just agreed, not realizing the true meaning of Sora’s words. Sora honestly thought he wasn’t anything without them. How? How could Sora think that? How long had he been thinking such?

“That’s not true,” Riku said firmly. “That’s not true at all. Sora, you’re one of the strongest people I know!”

Sora looked away. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do, though!” Riku’s felt tears begin to pool in his eyes too. “Sora, I look up to you! You are the reason I’m here. You saved me from the dark, Sora; if you weren’t around, I’d still be possessed by Ansem, or dead. How could you have pulled me from the dark if you weren’t strong, if you were nothing? You couldn’t have. But you did. You’re my light. I can’t speak for the others, but I know that I would never be happy again if you were gone. Never.”

There was a minute of charged silence, and then Sora turned again to look at Riku, this time with an expression of wonder streaked with tears. “Really? You really mean that?”

Riku nodded, “I do. I love you, Sora. You’re my world. I’d be nothing without you.”

Sora gasped, then moved his hand to Riku’s cheek as he locked eyes with him. “Riku… you’re crying,” Sora said in disbelief as he thumbed an escaped tear.

“S-sorry,” Riku stammered, closing his eyes to recompose himself. “I don’t—” Riku’s words were halted by a gentle press of lips.

Riku’s eyes opened as he gasped in surprise. Sora’s brilliant blue eyes were locked onto his own, warm pools that reminded him of the sky. Eyes that were searching Riku’s now, gauging the situation. “Was that okay?” Sora asked nervously.

“More than okay,” Riku breathed, smiling lovingly at Sora as he moved his hand to the back of Sora’s head and quickly tugged him forwards into another, slightly deeper kiss, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from the brunette as he practically melted into the kiss.

“I love you,” Sora said breathlessly, once they broke for air. He grinned. “I love you so much, Riku.”

“I love you too, Sora,” Riku said, equally as breathless. He moved his arms around Sora’s waist to pull him as close as possible.

Sora had a different idea, maneuvering the two to lie on the bed side-by-side, Sora curling up with his head tucked under Riku’s chin and both hands grabbing one of Riku’s between them. Riku draped his other arm over Sora.

“Feeling better?” Riku asked gently.

Sora lay in silent contemplation for a moment before saying, “Yeah. Yeah, I actually am.” He sounded slightly surprised about that.

Riku nuzzled Sora’s hair. “Good.” He shifted nervously. “Hey. Promise me you’ll talk to me right away the next time you’re feeling down, okay? Please, Sora.”

Sora took a moment to answer. Just as Riku was about to say something more, Sora nodded into his chest. “Yeah, I promise.” Sora then tilted his head up to look at Riku and said, smiling, “Will I get a kiss again afterwards?”

“You’re the one who kissed me first,” Riku pointed out with a chuckle. “But, yes. In fact, Sora, you can have a kiss from me whenever you want.”

“Whenever I want?”

“Mhmmm.”

Sora grinned. “In that case…” Sora leaned over and once again locked his lips with Riku’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Although this ends with a kiss, by no means am I implying that love is a cure-all (despite what Disney seems to think). Using a relationship to stave off depression can lead to issues with co-dependency, and even possibly worsen things if the relationship becomes rocky or ends. Someone in Sora's position requires professional help first and foremost; if you are suffering from depression and/or thoughts of suicide, please seek out professional help (I promise you, it truly does make a difference, at least in my experience).


End file.
